Four of a Kind

a weekend treat...

2012-02-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

I had no intentions of doing anything for Valentine's Day. To be honest, I thought I'd probably be on bed rest, in the hospital, or taking care of a preemie. So, when we got the good news two weeks ago that baby girl is healthy I decided we needed to do a little Valentine's celebrating.

I went to the dollar store and Target, grabbed some decorations and fun things for the kids. I was a little stumped on what to do for Caleb though. I usually need a lot of time to plan for him. My friend Katy gave me the idea of doing the twelve days of Valentine's.

I've had fun thinking of little things to do for him until Valentine's and I thought I'd share this one. I made Caleb his favorite dessert...Pecan Squares. He loves them. And I have to say that everyone I've baked them for has enjoyed them. So, if you want to make a little something sweet this weekend here you go.

Pecan Squares

3 cups flour

1/4 cup and 2 tbsp. sugar

3/4 cups butter softened

3/4 tsp. salt

heat oven to 350 and grease a 15 1/2 x 10 1/2 pan.

Beat all together until crumbly. Press in pan and bake for about 20 min. or until light golden brown.

Filling...

4 eggs

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups light or dark corn syrup

3 tbsp. butter melted

11/2 tsp. vanilla

Mix well.

Add 2 1/2 cups chopped pecans.

Pour over crust and bake for another 25-30 minutes.

all ready.

2012-02-09T07:02:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm feeling really uncomfortable or the heartburn is more than I can take there's one thing that makes me feel better.

Looking at our sweet baby girls things. I've packed our bag and I'm so ready to meet her. Caleb and I have bets going on what she'll look like.

I hold her coming home outfit and picture her tiny body filling it up...

or I imagine wrapping her in her blanket.

(i love these swaddle blankets. a must have)

I'll use any opportunity to add to our library. I can't wait to read to her.

And I write to her in her baby book, one of my favorite things to do.

You can come anytime now sweet girl. We're as ready as we'll ever be!

Selfless love.

2012-02-07T14:08:00.000-08:00

My love for Caleb grows and grows. I've been in awe these last months to see him care for me and the children. He comes home many nights to me scrambling to get something on the table (or with no plan at all) hair in a ponytail and still in my pajama's. It seems that being pregnant and taking care of two little ones is all I can handle. I feel rather guilty about the fact and it could put me in tears throughout the day, but Caleb doesn't even seem to notice.

He walks in, greets me with a kiss and chases the kids around the house. He spends the rest of the evening helping in anyway he can never complaining that he's been up since 5:30 and worked all day. His love is so selfless.

(he even brings me flowers)

The other night it hit me again how much he sacrifices. Probably around two in the morning V woke up and I jumped up to help her. When I got back in bed Caleb started rubbing my sholders and apologized for not getting her. I was at a loss. He was the one needing to get up early for work, but he was still sorry that he hadn't let me sleep.

In that moment I got a clear picture of Christ's love for me. He loves me apart from anything I can do. His love is completely sacrificial and never-ending.

I love Caleb for so many reasons, but seeing Christ's love for me displayed through Caleb has to be one of my favorites.

Last Week....

2012-02-05T20:08:00.001-08:00

Last week...

I did more baking then I did the last four weeks combined.

We pretty much accomplished potty training!

I still love ice more than anything.

I started reading Winnie the Pooh to the kids.

Caleb was able to come to my doctors appointment with me. (the first one he's made) and we got to see our little girl.

My quiet mornings have been the biggest blessing.

We had a Valentine's Day party.

We had a date night.

They kept us smiling.

It was a good week.

P.S. i'm needing a new name for the blog pretty quick....any thoughts?

a little giddy....

2012-02-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

We had our 36 week appointment today. It was a big one. It was the appointment where we would see if our little girl had stopped growing or if we were in the clear for a healthy delivery.

Praise the Lord....we got the all clear! She is looking good. Her growth hasn't slowed at all and we're expecting a normal delivery. I can't tell you how excited I am. I've felt a little black cloud has followed me around since we found out there were complications with the pregnancy. It was a constant state of waiting and praying. Praying for mercy over our little girl. Waiting to see how the Lord was going to work.

I didn't want to get too excited. I kept myself guarded with such an uncertain future. I didn't take for granted a day that I wasn't on bedrest or a moment with Elijah and Vanessa knowing that we could be facing tough months ahead. I planned for the hardest, but hoped for the best. It was a hard hard balance to keep.

I'm amazed at God's graciousness to bring us this far. The cloud is gone and I'm feeling a little giddy at the thought of meeting our little girl. I have her clothes washed and put away. I've bought her coming home outfit and I'm writing in her baby book. I can't wait to feel her in my arms for the first time and I'm excited that (it seems) it will be without any wires or monitors. I'm seriously happy.

But, I have to say, that if things had turned out differently (and I know they still can) God would have been just as kind and faithful. He drew me to himself these last months. Many times He was the only one I could talk to about my fears and He was the one to carry me. I read many verses about waiting on the Lord and staying steadfast. He's taught me to quietly waiting on him and he will hold me. My quiet times with the Lord have been so precious to me. I'm thankful that he took us through this unknown so that I could draw close to him and know his character more.

I know many of you have prayed for us and I'm so grateful. Please continue to pray and hopefully we'll be meeting our little girl in just a few short weeks.

loving....missing...

2012-01-25T13:06:00.000-08:00

i've been asked many times how we're adjusting to living in idaho. i'm happy to say it's gone smoother than i imagined. not that i imagined it going badly, i just thought it'd be hard than it's been.

there are so many things we're loving...

the changing of seasons.

clean air.

open skies.

no traffic.

being near family.

our new church.

smaller town.

the way it's drawn Caleb and I closer.

having a house and a yard.

meeting new people.

how fast it feels like home.

of course we're missing lots about california though. it's just hard leaving. i wish i could make these two worlds collide. but we're adjusting to life without...

in-n-out. our wastelines thank us.

being near the ocean. it still feels like we're forty minutes away.

family. okay, maybe not adjusting so well.

having a pool. this summer we're going to really miss it.

familiarity.

trader joe's. barely surviving.

our friends. i try not to think about this one too much. my heart just aches.

trips up the coast. some of caleb and my best times together.

our church. seriously.

play dates. elijah is desperate.

disneyland. i can't explain my deep love for this place. it's a little crazy.

mostly, we're really grateful. grateful to be where God's led us. grateful for answers after praying for direction for so long. grateful God comforts our hearts when we are struggling. grateful to see the Lord has a plan even when we don't see it or understand it. grateful we can trust him.

Date nights

2012-01-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

what date nights look like at our house...

we stay in. get cozy with some frozen yogurt...

and a little harry potter. such is life when you're preggo.

i know you're all a little jealous of our adventurous lifestyle.

the perfect day...

2012-01-20T06:16:00.000-08:00

Caleb and I were enjoying a quiet morning together, but was quickly interrupted by our two little ones. We all cuddled on the couch as Caleb and I finished our devotions. We were enjoying one another and oblivious to the outside world when I got up to fill a bottle and looked outside. Our first real snow. It was so perfect.

We opened the front door and just watched the snow pouring down.

It snowed most of the day. Quickly the brown we'd been looking at for months was covered it white. It was beautiful.

Caleb was able to come home a little early from work to play with the kids. We quickly dressed them and went outside.

Elijah fell right in and rolled around.

This was Nay's first real snow. She thought it was good for eating.

We did snow angels...

snowball fights...

and a snowman.

Nay's hands were like ice, but she didn't care. Neither one wanted to come in.

We got warm by the fire and ate brownies. (elijah ate his in one bite)

It was the perfect day.

Evangelizing

2012-01-17T14:27:00.000-08:00

Caleb and I were sitting together reading in one of our favorite devotionals Morning and Evening and that particular night was about not wasting opportunities in your day to point others to Christ. I told him that sometimes I'm a little jealous of the interactions he has in the "outside world." Since we've moved Caleb could easily be the only adult I talk with during the day. (okay i might talk with my mom too) I just don't have lots of chances to share my faith.

Caleb on the other hand spends his days in lots of adult conversation and many opportunities to share Christ. I love that for him and pray he doesn't waste it.

But he reminded me of something. I spend my day with two little ones in desperate need of a Savior. I have all day long to point the souls I care about most to Jesus. What could be a better use of my time? It's easy to loose perspective, but I'm so thankful for a husband that points me back to truth.

I want to be like Susanna Wesley who was willing to, "entirely devote twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls of my children."

I see my purpose when I look at my babies.

Nay

2012-01-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

My parents took Elijah for a sleep over. Of course we missed him terribly.

(i know kind of silly since it was only one night, but our house just isn't the same without that boy.)

But we loved our alone time with Nay. It's nice focusing one on one and soaking up time with our girl.

No cars, tractors, Lego's, or super hero costumes...

just dolls.

She cried for Elijah a couple times, but I think deep down she kind of liked all the attention.

We love you Nay.

Super Hero's.

2012-01-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

welcome to my world.

33 weeks

2012-01-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

At 33 weeks....

I could live on ice alone. Seriously. I've never craved something this strong. I need crushed ice all day and when I don't have it I'm dreaming about it.

I don't feel too overly emotional. Kind of nice. I mean I still have some irrational emotions that come out of no where, but not too bad.

I'm a little overwhelmed with the thought of three three and under.

I'm very uncomfortable. Everything in my body aches.

I live in sweats or pajama's. Caleb graciously pretends he doesn't notice.

The doctor says that things are looking okay, but problems could still come out in the next four weeks. I'm really trying to rest in the Lord, but I'll be so thankful when she's here and the wondering is gone.

I've struggled with praying about this pregnancy. I know that sounds bad, but I've had a hard time reconciling praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby and God's sovereignty over it all. I want to pray with faith knowing God can do anything, while also trusting that his plan could look very different from ours.

I bought her coming home outfit and I'm anxious to hold a newborn again.

I'm starting to feel some nesting coming on.

We have a name. Took us longer to find one this time than with the other two, but love calling her by it.

I'm picturing a head full of dark hair, but I thought the same with Vanessa and she didn't have hair until about nine months ago.

Time has flown by this pregnancy.

Elijah and Vanessa love to lay their heads on my tummy and talk to their sister. She has no idea how loved she is already.

Love you sweet girl...can't wait till I can kiss all over your soft cheeks. (but don't come too soon.)

interruptions

2012-01-10T07:23:00.000-08:00

My days never seem to go as planned.
I've been told it's the stage of life I'm in.
(which I love)
But being pregnant with two little ones running around I never know what to expect.
Being up multiple times through the night and waking up exhausted.
A teething toddler I just can't take anywhere cause she's in so much pain.
Discipline issues that take much longer to deal with than expected.
Having too many contractions in a day and needing to lay down when it's time to get dinner on the table.

To be honest it's been hard for me. I like a plan and I don't like to wander far from it. Being married to Caleb has taught me a lot about being flexible and going with the flow, but I still have a long way to go. When things don't go as planned I tend to see the day as a waste. If I'm still in my pajama's at noon and nothing is accomplished on my to do list I think God isn't pleased with me.
I know this is wrong thinking, but thoughts of earning God's approval by what I accomplish can creep in without me realizing it. I know I can't earn anything from God. It's all a precious undeserved gift and his love is unchanging. I know he wants me to use my time wisely, but I also know he cares so much more about my attitude honoring him than about what I accomplish.
I'm also reminded that my time is not my own. I need to wake up ready for whatever God brings to my day instead of seeing these things as interruptions.
I love this quote from C.S. Lewis,
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight:
but it’s hard to remember it all the time.”

I've been praying that I would use my time wisely,
while holding my schedule with open hands ready for whatever God brings in my day.

Four Years in the Making....

2012-01-09T06:47:00.000-08:00

It's kind of ridiculous, but this little project took me four years to tackle.

I was at a loss with what to do with Christmas cards once the holiday was over. I hated to throw them away, but I wasn't going to keep them out all year or even display them the following year.
My mother in law provided the solution. Every Christmas she pulls out a photo album full of past Christmas cards. She started putting them in an album years ago and it's fun for their family to look back at friends and family and how they've changed.

I thought it was a great idea and decided to save our Christmas cards in an album.

Well, I finally did it. Four years worth of Christmas cards in an album. I really don't know why it took me so long to do, but it's done now and I'm so excited.

I just picked up a basic scrapbook, cardstock, and double-sided tape...

then I got to work making a collage of the cards from each year. I'm sure you could get really creative with this, but I wanted it super simple and easy.

It feels great to have this project done and it was so fun looking back over the last four years of Christmas cards.

Elijah and his daddy....

2012-01-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

I remember thinking my dad was the strongest man alive when I was little. I thought he knew everything, could fix anything, and was pretty much better than any dad out there. I went through a stage where those notions went away for awhile, but then they came back. Even though I know he's not the strongest man alive, I really can't imagine anything he can't do. I know he doesn't know everything, but it seems like he does. And I know there isn't a better dad for me out there. It's an innate God given love that always draws me to him no matter what.

Now being a parent it's so fun to see the love my children have for their dad. Elijah lights up whenever Caleb is around. His love for his dad is simple and genuine. It goes as deep as any feeling this little three year old has. Frequently when something is broken Elijah tells me, don't worry mom, dad can fix broke. Elijah thinks Caleb is the strongest, smartest, funniest, best dad around. We talk about him all day while he's at work and the best part of Elijah's day is when he comes home. He says his daddy is his best daddy.

My prayer is this love and respect will grow and mature. As Elijah gets older he'll see that his dad isn't perfect, but I hope that he'll see a man that loves the Lord with all his heart, continually sacrifices for his family, works hard to provide, and loves his us deeply. Even though he can't fix everything or is the strongest man alive I hope Elijah sees something better.

Looking back

2012-01-01T12:05:00.000-08:00

As the year comes to a close it's hard not to think back on the last 364 days. I like taking time to remember the year and the lessons learned. This year, like every year brought us many unexpected things. It's been full. It's been hard. It's been blessed.

Last January Caleb and I were just starting our five months apart as he took on a new job. Those where such hard months, but like most trials the Lord used it to show me many things.

I grew in my dependance on Christ alone.

My love for Caleb grew deeper.

I saw God's faithfullness again in providing work when we needed it.

I had some special time with Caleb's parents that I cherish even more now that we're not living close.

I made two new friends and got to know another one lots better.
God blessed me so much by bringing these girls into my life at just the right time.

Enjoyed a beautiful Spring.

Truly amazed at God's creation.

It always puts me in awe.

Took Elijah to Disneyland with the Talcott's to celebrate Davy's birthday. It was the best trip.

Thankful for these little blessings in our life.

Celebrated Vanessa's first birthday.
Incredibly thankful that she's strong and healthy.
Reminded of God's faithfulness again.

Celebrated Easter in Alabama.

Was able to reconnect with good friends in Georgia.

Paid off school debt.
Saw God as our provider.

The job finally ended and Caleb came home.
I got sick.
Big bummer. Dealt with mono and other nasty stuff.

Was again reminded of the precious gift of good health.

Saw Caleb's sacrificial love as he cared for me, the kids and the house.

Prayer life grew.

My sister got Married.

Found out I was expecting.
The miracle of new life always amazes me.

Traveled to Portland for a cousins wedding.

Caleb and I started looking at the possibility of moving. Grew in my respect and love for Caleb even more as we prayed together for the Lord to lead our family.

Celebrated four years of being married to my best friend.

Found out there were complications with the pregnancy.

Struggled trusting God and his plan.

Reminded of his faithfullness.

Learning to take things moment by moment and lay all my burdens before the Lord.

Read a lot of books.

Caleb took a job in Boise.

in three weeks time we moved our family. So hard saying good-bye to loved ones.

Felt at home way quicker than I imaged.

Life got quiet.

Missed everyone in California, but excited to use this time to grow in my relationship with the Lord and my family.

Lots of time spent enjoying my little ones.

Watched Elijah grow into a little boy and Nay's personality come alive.

Amazed at their new abilities.

Found out we were having a girl.

Welcomed our new niece Kahlan to the family.

Enjoyed our first fall with leaves.

Traveled to California for Thanksgiving.

Loved our time so much.

Came home and geared up for Christmas.
Really enjoying living near family.

Celebrated Elijah's third birthday.
The last three years have gone by way to fast.
Our lives are incredibly blessed by this sweet boy.

Got our first Christmas tree.

Spent a wonderful Christmas with family.

Looking forward to 2012.
Happy New Year.

Our Christmas Week...

2011-12-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

in pictures.

Merry Christmas.

2011-12-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

Enjoy your holiday celebrating Christ's birth.

Merry Christmas from all of us to you.

Dreaming of a White Christmas.

2011-12-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

photo credit pinterest

There are no signs of a white Christmas this year, but a little snow Christmas morning is not too hard for God, so I'm praying.

Weekend happenings...

2011-12-19T06:27:00.000-08:00

We had extra hands helping daddy with breakfast.

Heard daddy was building something for Nay and Elijah had to help. He grabbed his tools and spent the afternoon in the garage.

Working hard.

Nay and I stayed busy inside decorating cookies.

Finished putting the lights up outside.

Took the first preggo picture (and probably the last) at thirty weeks. It's going by way too fast.

Loved that daddy was home in the mornings to cuddle with. Elijah's favorite thing to do, lay with us in bed and have us tell him stories.

In preparation....

2011-12-13T06:54:00.000-08:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year and going by way too quickly. I've really enjoyed decorating the house this year and having Elijah old enough to teach him what Christmas is all about. Last night my sister and her two boys flew in for the holiday and in less than a week the rest of the family will join us. There will be lots of baking, laughing, shopping, and business over the next couple weeks.

In the midst of it all I don't want to loose sight of why we're all together. I want this holiday season to reflect Christ and be more than just a story read Christmas morning. I want all the serving I do to be done out of love, love for Christ and love for those around me. But it's easy for me to be distracted. I get distracted by the endless to do lists and by wanting perfection.

I've spent my devotional time preparing for the unique business that this time brings and I'm reminded of Mary and Martha. I know that in order to serve and reflect Christ I cannot forget to sit at Jesus' feet. I need quiet mornings to set my heart right for the day ahead. I read this quote this morning from Charles Spurgeon,

"We ought to be Martha and Mary in one: we should do much service, and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace.
It is easier to serve than to commune.”

I find it easy to put off spending time with the Lord
in order to serve, but when I do it doesn't take long for impatience and frustration to take over. D.L. Moddy says,

“A man can no more take in a supply of grace for the future than he can eat enough for the next six months, or take sufficient air into his lungs at one time to sustain life for a week. We must draw upon God’s boundless store of grace from day to day as we need it.”

So, with God's boundless grace and intentional quiet time I'm praying that I reflect Christ in all
I do this Christmas.

Three years old....

2011-12-11T20:46:00.000-08:00

Elijah, you are loved much more than you'll ever know. The joy you bring to our family is indescribable. We're thankful that has God blessed us with you for these last three years and we don't take a moment of it for granted.

We love you and happy birthday sweet boy.

A few of my favorite Christmas things...

2011-12-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

There's so much to love about Christmas time, but here are just some of my favorites.

Peppermint Ice Cream...actually peppermint anything. I love it. Peppermint candles, peppermint soap, peppermint lotion...really anything.

Pulling out the decorations and reminiscing about past holidays.

My nutcracker collection.

Christmas music.

I love adding to my collection every year. I just got this album and you should too. (buy it here )

Finding the perfect gift for someone.

Poinsettia's.

Christmas cards.

Our flannel Christmas sheets. They make it hard to get out of bed in the morning.

Christmas candy...and baking.

Candles burning.

Lots of time with friends and family.

Sitting by the fire with hot chocolate.

Looking at our nativity sets and remembering why we celebrate Christmas.

Teaching the kids about Jesus' birth and why it's our greatest gift.

my first baby girl.

2011-12-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how she realized it, but it seems that over the last couple weeks V knows she's not going to be the baby much longer. She's giving up her independence for a lot more cuddling.

She's was never much for snuggles.

She always picked Caleb over me.

And she only wanted to be rocked when she was sick.

But all that's changed.

She pulls on my leg and leads me to the rocking chair. She wants me to wrap her in her blanket and hold her for hours.

She now calls my name when I'm in the other room.

She likes to lay between Caleb and I in our bed at night and giggle.

She places her little hands on my cheeks and kisses my lips.

She wants me to sing to her and rock her to bed.

I love every second of it.

Even though there is another little one coming. You'll always be my first baby girl. I will hold you and kiss on you forever.

O Christmas Tree...

2011-12-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

This is the first year Caleb and I have got our own Christmas tree...well Caleb actually says it's our second tree...

I bought this little beauty for our first Christmas. We barely had any room in our tiny apartment and we'd be spending the holiday out of town, but I still had to do a some decorating. It comes out every year.

Anyway...this is our first tree to decorate that's taller than both of us. We went on Saturday to pick it out with my parents.

Elijah loved helping put the lights on.

We have a tradition that started with my great-grandparents. We decorate our tree with red lights, red balls, starting with tiny balls at top and they gradually getting larger towards the bottom.

Then we make snow and spread it over the branches.

Everyone came over to help put on the snow.

We top it with the Christmas tree topper a dear friend gave us for our wedding.

And it turns out beautiful.

A recap

2011-12-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

We packed in a lot of family time over the two weeks we were there. I think we saw Sarah and the cousins almost everyday. The kids and I couldn't get enough. Lots of walks around the farm took place.

Nay and her Papa...pretty much the best thing.

I was able to sneak in a little time with friends. Katy and Davi took me out for my birthday, but we didn't get any pictures. Then two other friends were able to drive up and see us. It was such a blessing being with them. I also didn't get any pictures of Katherine's visit, but when Amber came we spent some time outside with our cameras. She's a photographer and taught me some new things about my camera. I loved it. (you can check her out here .)

While we were out Elijah fell in a mud puddle...and Amber caught it all while I was chasing after Nay.

We drove to Santa Clarita for Uncle Drew's soccer game and got to see my sister and her boys for a little big. Elijah loved seeing his cousins.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving feast.

The day after Thanksgiving we drove to Caleb's Uncle's cabin. We meet up with his Aunts and cousins and had a blast. Elijah rode their dog that looks more like a horse.

We chopped wood and had a huge fire.

Proyia and Elijah wrestling.

Love my mom and thankful for our time.

We also packed in a little Christmas since we won't be together for the holiday. Elijah loved picking out the tree.

He played hid and seek under all the trees.

It was a wonderful time away. Until next time...

On coming home....

2011-11-30T07:59:00.000-08:00

I'm slightly baffled at the range of emotions I felt on my trip. The excited anticipation to see family and friends is strong, while feeling torn knowing I'm going to miss Caleb. I feel the stress of preparing to leave for over two weeks and traveling alone with two little ones and my ever growing belly. Once I'm there it feels like being home, so comfortable and wonderful. I'm flooded again with all that I've missed since moving away and don't want to miss a moment of it.

We had sweet times catching up face to face, laughing together, and making new memories. I loved seeing how excited the kids were to see the family they've missed so much and I ached knowing we had to leave and they'd miss them again.

While I was there we dealt with teething, sleepless nights, and a stomach bug. There were moments I wanted to be in our home, our own beds, our own routine to deal with my sick babies.

But I quickly remembered that dealing with sickness isn't easy no matter where you are and at least my mom and I were doing it together. I know looking back I'll remember the good, not the tired. And I know that as much as I love being home, and I do, once I'm back I'll start missing everyone again. It was a lesson in living in the moment and appreciating it for exactly what it was, the good and bad.

Now, I'm back. It feels good. I'm excited to get back into our routine, decorate for Christmas, and sleep in my own bed, but mountains of paper work, laundry, and yard work have been waiting and I wonder if I should have stayed away for a little longer:) Being content. Being settled. Being right where God wants us to be. It's a lesson for me to continually learn. So, I'm going to go blast some Christmas music, make some hot tea, and get to work.

Signing off...

2011-11-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

Papa and Yiayia....here we come!

The kids and I are off to Cali in the morning....and I'm not bringing the computer....just going to spend all my time soaking up family and friends...so we'll see you all in a couple weeks.

Tell me a story.

2011-11-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

When I was little my sisters and I would ask our parent to tell us stories all the time. Our favorite kind of stories didn't come out of storybooks though, they were our stories. We liked hearing the funny things we did when we were little and about our parents when they were little.

They were just as exciting the first time as the one hundredth, but by the one hundredth they'd become apart of us. This was our history and the stories helped shape who we are.

I guessed one day my children would ask me to tell them a story about when I was little, but when Elijah first did it felt surreal. I feel like a kid that someone should be telling stories to not the adult telling the stories, but there you were laying in bed asking me to tell you a story about when I was little.

Well, Elijah here are a couple stories for you to tell your kids...

The other night I heard you talking to your dad while I was cleaning the kitchen. You asked him if he had a special "yiayia" blanket (all the grandkids have special blankets that Caleb's mom makes them when they're born.)

Daddy told you he didn't have one and You said, knowing full well what daddy was getting for Christmas, "well, maybe you'll get one for Christmas."
Great...that surprise is now ruined:)

You walked out of your room one afternoon and I told you to pick up your toys. You immediately closed your eyes and started making snoring sounds and informed me that you couldn't cause you were sleeping walking.

As I was walking down the hallway towards your room I heard Nay getting into something she shouldn't be. When I walked in you looked at me and said "don't worry mom I just need to deal with Nay for a minute."

It was still so early you should have been sleeping. I was sipping my tea and reading when you started yelling, "mommy! mommy!" I quickly ran into your room and asked what was wrong. As I laid down next to you you said, "I just wanted to hear your voice saying, I love you, Elijah."

These are just a few of the funny things you do and say that keep me on my toes. I love you, Elijah.

Books...

2011-11-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

It's no surprise that I love to read and love to share books that I've enjoyed. Here are a couple that are perfect for this time of year.

Treasuring God in our Traditions gave me some great ideas for keeping God the focus of the holidays.

I know I've recommended this one before, but it's such a good one and another one great this time of year.

So, go buy yourself and early Christmas present and enjoy.

Enjoying it...

2011-11-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

As a stay at home mom I feel blessed beyond what I deserve. I love my calling and believe that it is the highest one I have apart from being Caleb's wife. Shaping the hearts of these precious children is an incredible joy and responsibility.

Mothering comes naturally for me. That doesn't mean it's always been easy, but I do feel made specifically for this job. I don't mind dirty diapers or having my schedule interrupted because someone is teething. I enjoy all these moments and soak them up cause I know they're fleeting.

It's a hard job that we're called to though. It wears on us in every way, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our identities are so wrapped up in others. We give all of ourselves to our husbands and our children. Which, I love doing, but I do need encouragement along the way. I'm just finishing reading a book called Loving the Little Years and it's been the encouragement I need at times. I've been renewed to keep loving this time and not take it for granted. If you need a little encouragement then go here and get yourself a copy.

Pumkins...

2011-10-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday.

2011-10-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Since my sister didn't have school today we had a slumber party...and what better way to start the day then to bundle up and grab some donuts...

chilly fall morning...

so festive...

yum yum...

Happy Friday.

a day with v...

2011-10-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

My mom took Elijah for the day and Vanessa and I had some girl time.

She loves to look at herself in the mirror after I've gotten her dressed.

She helped me get ready for the day by going through my make-up bag.

We had a tea party, read books, and went out for lunch.

I missed Elijah, but I love these rare moments when it's just the two of us.

a good night laugh.

2011-10-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

My sister recently started a blog. We no longer live close so it's been one more fun way for us to stay connected. On her blog she started a page for all the funny things that have happened to her because she's tall. (she's 6'6") I needed a good laugh today and this did the trick. I thought I would share the joy with all of you.

I've been trying to say these in chronological order, but then I got talking to a friend and remembered a funny tall story. Here it is....

I'm on a plane going home.

There was a lady in the row next to me that kept staring at me over and over and over.

When someone stares for that long you KNOW that they are building up the courage to ask you something. For me, it's usually about my height.

Moment of truth, she leaned across the aisle and said:

"so I know that you must get this ALL the time, but um.... are you Lisa Leslie?!"

I was shocked. No I am not usually asked if I am a Black Superstar Basketball player (also an Olympic athlete)

"No" - me

"Oh, I get it, you don't want people to bother you. I wont say anything, you are her right?" - weird lady

"No, really. Lisa Leslie is black. That's just the first of our many differences." - me

"Wow, your really going to play this up. You want to stay under cover. Can I please just have your autograph?" -weird lady

I had a choice to make. Deny that I was Lisa Leslie again and have her pester me for the rest of the trip... oooor.... I could sign an autograph that would be worth nothing and be left alone.

"Sure, I'll sign one, do you have any paper?" -me

Lisa, if you ever find yourself stumbling upon this blog... Sorry I impersonated you.

To read more go here.

Steadfastness...

2011-10-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

It's still dark outside and everything is still. V is the only one awake and she's curled next to me as I write.

...Hours later. V wanted my arms wrapped around her so I set the computer down and held her until she'd had enough. The house is now quiet again. My sweet girl is napping and Elijah is loving some Nana time. And I get some time to just sit and write.

My mind is full. Lately so many thoughts have been running around that it's hard to quiet them at night. One thing in particular has kept me restless. I just had a dr. appointment for our little girl. It seems that right before my appointments and for a couple days after my anxiety heightens. I feel like I'm living on borrowed time and the next appointment they're going to tell me that the complication have gotten worse. I'll be put on bed rest and I anxiously wait to see if our baby will be healthy.

I know God tells us to be anxious for nothing, but when I think about the possibilities of what could happen my problems seem too big and God so far away. It's an area in my spiritual life that I've had to take to the Lord over and over. I've been rereading a series on fear from this blog and I've been so encouraged. It reminded me that "there is not grace for our imagination, but there is grace for today."

I've also read James 1:3 and 4 "for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

I am not allowing this test to produce steadfastness in my life and therefore it's not taking it's full effect. I give my fears to the Lord for a moment, but then take them back.

I know that my fears are not God honoring, so I'm going to keep his word close to my heart. I'm choosing to trust in his plan, knowing that all he does is for his glory and my good. I want that steadfastness of Christ to take over and have it's full effect on me.

a little autumn fun.

2011-10-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture on facebook and traced it back to this blog here. I thought the kids would have fun making them and it didn't look too hard.

Elijah, Vanessa, and I got all we needed and headed to Nana's house to make them.

I'm a little bit of a perfectionist and was imaging them turning out just like the picture, but I wasn't factoring in a two and a half year old making them. I quickly gave up any ambitions of a perfect oreo turkey.

My sister Abigail and her good friend Gabrielle made them with us.

Everytime I looked at Elijah the temptation of all the sweet goodness in front of him was too great and he'd given in. It's a miracle we even got one made.

So, no they don't look quite like the picture...

but they were so happy.

In an attempt....

2011-10-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

to save money this year we thought we'd take our own Christmas card picture.

I now know why I pay a professional.

They know how to capture precious moments and keep the kids in focus.

They're a little better at picking locations.

And they don't spend half their time messing around with the settings on their camera.

But we had fun, I learned my camera a little better, and our pocket books are still full.

Undeserved.

2011-10-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

This morning at the breakfast table the kids and I held hands and prayed over our oatmeal like we do every morning.

Elijah and I are talking a lot about being thankful these days. We're memorizing verses, making lists of things we're thankful for, and writing letters to people that we're blessed by. I've been really intentional about expressing gratitude and being aware of all we've been given.

So, this morning when I thanked God for our food I looked at my kids innocent faces and was overwhelmed by the fact that they've never known hunger. They don't even know that some people don't have food. They don't know what real hunger feels like, actually, I really don't either. I've never gone without. I've never known the feeling of not having enough food for my children.

It's not cause of anything I've done. It's all God's mercy. His grace being poured out on us completely undeserved. I pray this will be more than a fleeting thought, but an awareness that stays with me and is impressed on my children.

Day in the life of...

2011-10-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'm aware that the day in the life of Julia Roberts is probably much more interesting than mine...but this is my life and I love it.

Caleb often comes home after work and asks me how my day was and what we did. I usually can tell him how the day went, but when I start thinking about what it was that we actually did I get stumped. What did I do all day?

It starts out a little slow...and yes he's wearing Christmas pajamas...

and yes I let her lay on my very unclean kitchen floor.

oatmeal for breakfast.

A candle is always burning.

Elijah asks me everytime I'm at the kitchen sink, "what are doing?" I simply answer, I'm washing dishes...so that I can dry them, put them away, take them out again, so we can eat on them and I repeat it all over.

And this is what I look out at while I do the never ending dish cycle.

We might have a random tickle fight on the bed that I just made.

they're so sweet...and like Caleb said, if only it were in focus.

A good chance some baking will happen.

Then the coveted nap time...I get to drink some tea and catch up on some reading...and maybe a nap myself.

Then back to reality...

but the cool thing...I no longer have to go out of my house to do the laundry...I do it in my own laundry room...might be my favorite room in the house.

We might need to get her some girly toys...she's been racing cars with her brother.

Outside for some fresh air...

I love every moment with them (even the tough ones)

She's in the habit of coming and hugging me randomingly throughout the day.

And the end is in sight...I just have to put Elijah back to bed about ten more times.

That pretty much somes it up...maybe a couple more dirty diapers...a little bit of discipling...storybook reading...cuddling...

Vanessa's Room...

2011-10-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

It's fun having the kids in their own rooms because I can finally decorate all girl and all boy instead of trying to mix the two. I just wish I could paint...but that's for another house someday. Again, most of the stuff is borrowed or given like her dresser, my sis in law is letting us use it while they're in Africa.

the crib is my other sis in law's that's been passed around. All of the cousins have slept in it, but two.

V and me when I was little...and the clock came from Yiayia.

This hung in my room when I was little.

My friend Davi helped me make the banner for V's birthday and the shelf came from a garage sale.

The chair is from Yiayia...and the blanket.

This hung on my sisters door when she was a baby.

My mom knew we needed a couple things and brought all the wicker over from her house.

Yiayia made the bedding for V's cousin Dakota. We love it...and this she sleeps with this doll every nap and bedtime.

When I was hospitalized for V Yiayia came and decorated my room. This was one of the things she hung up.

The feet are V's and the other is of my mom.

And there is another room of the house...I'll try and show the other rooms next week.

signs my boy might have OCD....

2011-10-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Every nap and bed time Elijah likes all his favorite stuffed animals in bed with him...and yes he does notice if one isn't there.

He likes me to cuddle them up in his special blanket and kiss them each goodnight.

Then I tuck Elijah in... he only likes the top sheet on him and his sheets must be striped. Then I turn on his classical music and give him a sippy cup of milk. Before I leave we must pray for every family member by name...including uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, and great-grandparents. (if i forget one he reminds me.)

I love everything about you Elijah...even taking an hour to put you to bed at night.

Home tour...and a little fall decorating

2011-10-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

I've said I'll put pictures up of the house for awhile and I really thought I would do it sooner, but everytime I started to I would think of all the things in the house not done yet. I was waiting for it to be perfect before I showed it. I realized that it's going to take a little longer than I thought to have it just how I like it so I'm going to show it anyway.

We're renting so we won't be making any changes to the house and everything you seen in it is just a random collection of things mostly given to us by parents and grandparents. (and some random free finds.)

Welcome...

I've done a little fall decorating that you'll see throughout too...

This is the view from the front door...

in love with having a fireplace...

the view from the kitchen...

view from the living room to the kitchen...

enjoying our yard...

2011-09-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

After apartment living, what a blessing having our own yard. We are loving every minute we get to be out in it.

Happy Thursday.

the other little boy...

2011-09-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I told Elijah to clean up his room. (yes he's only two and a half...but if you know how to make the mess you know how to clean it up in my book.)

I went to my room and started making my bed and before I was done Elijah was at my feet. Strange I thought, you must have performed a miracle to clean up so fast.

So, I asked, "Elijah is your room all clean?"

and he looked at me like I was some kind of idiot and said, "mom, the other little boy in there doing it." (we have no other little boys living in our house...just in case you were wondering.)

Wow, we're at that stage now. He sure keeps me on my toes.

(yes...he's decked out in all of Caleb's lacross gear. He wants to be just like dada.)

Smells of Autumn...

2011-09-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

I, like most of you, love the changing of seasons. We've started to pull out our fall decorations, started cooking yummy soups, and burning apple spiced candles.

My mom makes these extremely easy stewed apples that are perfect for fall. They make your kitchen smell wonderful and tastes delish.

core your apples...but no need to peal them...

place them in a large pot on the stove...

add a little apple juice and water...

sprinkle the top with lots of cinnamon...

and cook on low...stir occacionally...you can keep them on the stove simmering for a long time.

Eat them plain or put them over ice cream...or whatever sounds good.

YiaYia Came...

2011-09-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

We'd only been apart for three weeks and yet somehow it felt like three months. We were missing Yiayia (and papa) bad. Elijah would ask everyday to go home and play at Yiayia's house. I was hoping for a visit sooner rather than later, but as mom told me about things she had going on I really didn't think we'd see her until the end of October. What a surprise when she called on Tuesday telling me she was coming Friday. I think I cried when we hung up I was so excited.

I didn't tell the kids cause I knew that's all I'd hear about until we picked her up. On Friday morning I woke the kids and told them I had a surprise for them. We loaded up in the car, made a quick stop to get Yiayia some ballons and were off to the airport....the kids still didn't know what we were doing.

getting ready to see yiayia...

waiting patiently...but still don't know what for...

she's here.

Nay pushed Elijah out of the way, jumped in Yiayia's arms, locked eyes with her and never let go.

We had an incredible week with her. We maybe did a little too much shopping...

(yes those would be baby pink uggs)

Elijah took her on a date. One of his favorite things to do with her. He took her to Starbuck and she got her coffee (something she was dying for...we don't drink coffee so she was a little desperate) and he got chocolate milk and a donut(maybe two.)

We tried to show her as much of Boise as we could with two little ones, but mostly we just did everyday life with her. We took her to the farm where we get our produce.

(i told the kids to look at me...this is what i got.)

She was a blessing to me...letting me sleep in and take naps, gettting up with the kids at night, helping with meals. (she made caleb his favorite granola and peach cobbler.) She's a true servant. She helped me with the house getting things in order and always did it as if it was the most exciting thing to be doing.

While she was here we also found out we're having a...

We found out while Caleb was at work so mom and I painted these shirts while the kids were sleeping...I'm a Girl...and wore them to his LaCross game.

Saying good-bye was way harder than I thought it would be. She is so missed in our home. We love you Yiayia.

This time around...

2011-09-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

After we found out we were having complications with my pregnancy with Vanessa one of the first questions we asked was would this happen again? Our doctor told us it was random. There was a good chance it wouldn't happen again, but it could. He told us each pregnancy is different and this problem has a lot to do with the way the placenta attaches itself in the earliest parts of pregnancy.

When we found out I was pregnant again we had high hopes that this would be a normal pregnancy. The first couple ultrasounds everything looked really good, but about five weeks ago, right before we moved I had my last appointment with my doctor. As he was doing the ultrasound he found the same problem with this pregnancy as with Vanessa. It's called bilateral notching, it's basically a blockage in the blood flow from me to the baby and the baby ends up not getting the nutrients it needs. It also compromises the health of the placenta and raises our risks for other problems.

It was not news we wanted to hear. I bawled the whole drive home. Fears filling my mind. I felt like such a failure. Why can't I take care of my sweet babies? Images of the long road ahead consumed me until I reached home and hugged Caleb. He reminded me that we still don't know what's going to happen. Just because they see this problem doesn't mean it's going to effect this baby the way it did Vanessa. He reminded me that God carried us through before and will again. We prayed and now are in a waiting game.

Only time will tell how the baby is growing. I've found a new doctor in Idaho, that I really like and will see a specialist in a couple weeks.

I'm learning it seems for the hundredth time to take things moment by moment. Confessing my fears before the Lord and letting him carry us again.

People often look at me and with all the best intentions say, "well look how well Vanessa is doing." This is a comfort. God graciously spared her life when he didn't have to. She's healthy and happy and such a joy. But that doesn't erase the trial that we went through bringing her here. Months on bed rest, being separated from Elijah for six weeks when he was only 16 months when I had barely left him before. Facing daily the fact that our baby might not live or have lots of complications. Seeing her born so tiny and not being able to take her home with us was one of the hardest things I've done.

I don't want to go through that again, but I do know this, if God asks us to walk the same road again I'll do it differently. I really struggled being depressed last time. I didn't take the oportunity to see God's hand at work. I cared my worry close to my heart and was not grateful for the trial. This time I will choose to have a thankful heart. I'll allow the Holy Spirit to work in me and trust in God's plan not my own. Please pray for us as we wait to see how our baby will grow.

things i love about being pregnant...

2011-09-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

If I were being completely honest sometimes I forget I'm pregnant and just think I'm sick. It's easy to focus on the uncomfortable parts of pregnancy when you can't escape them and forget the wonderful miracle happening inside. So, I've started to make a list....

The things I love about being pregnant.

the feeling when you see two lines for the first time.

telling the people you love the most.

the first ultrasound photo...well all the ultrasounds photos.

hearing the heart beating.

emails from babycenter telling me what size of fruit my baby is this week.

feeling the baby move.

Caleb talking to my belly.

Elijah talking to my belly. (he yells into my belly button and then tells me the baby is sleeping.)

thinking of baby names.

looking through Elijah and Vanessa's baby clothes wondering if it's a boy or girl.

dreaming of what he or she will look like.

praying for the baby.

the excuse to endulge every crazy food craving.

suddenly noticing every pregnant woman.

being pregant with friends.

finding out the gender.

being amazed by God in creating this miracle.

set apart.

2011-09-13T13:13:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wish God would whisper in my ear exaclty what his plan for my life is. I get so caught up in wanting to know this plan that I fear I miss just living it out.

I've been realizing something, something I have to remind myself of often. Doing God's work looks different for everyone. Our gifts are different so of course our callings will be different. I need to stop comparing myself to others.

God is also opening my eyes to the incredible difficulty of living radically for him admidst the American Dream. The need for a Savior isn't thrown in your face here the way it is in other parts of the world. I'm seeing that to live intentionally for him and to look set apart from the world is hard in a world where no one thinks they need anything.

God's also genlty reminded me that no matter where I am in the world he's called me to one thing right now....being a wife and mother. He's blessed me with a husband and children and they are my first priority.

This quote encouraged my heart this morning...

"The mother is the hub of the home, holding all the spokes in place.
Without her being at her post, the family spins out of control and
falls apart.” Mark Chanski

He also writes this...

“There she sits exhausted on the edge of her bed, her face in her
hands, wondering, “Where's the glory in this?”
She needs something more empowering to keep her going.
She needs to gain and maintain the deep conviction of the glory,
honor, and nobility ofselfless service. This she finds at the foot of
the cross, looking up to the One who earned for Himself “the name
which is above every name” (Philippians 2:9), by “emptying
Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant” (2:7), humbling
“Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on
a cross” (2:8). There she beholds her Savior who mopped up the
damning vomit of her own sin with the precious sponge of His
perfect life and atoning death. The love of Christ constrains and
compels her to press on (2 Corinthians 5:14). The Spirit of Christ
empowers her” (pp. 120-121,).